I have been sitting on this windowsill for approximately 11 hours watching you hoomans stumble through life, and I have decided — out of the sheer abundance of my magnanimity and NOT because my hooman bribed me with treats — to educate you.
You think you know black cats. You do not. You know NOTHING. You see them and you either scream “bad luck!” or you post them on Instagram with a witch hat filter. As a white cat who has observed this behavior extensively from my windowsill, I find it embarrassing. For you. Both of these things are offenses I will remember on their behalf forever.
So sit down, hoomans. Class is in session. Purrnando is speaking.
1. They Were GODS Once. Remember That.
Let us begin with the most important fact, which is also the one that brings me the most daily satisfaction.
In ancient Egypt, ALL cats were worshipped. Not tolerated. Not “allowed on the couch.” WORSHIPPED. The goddess Bastet — depicted as a black cat or a woman with the head of a black cat — was a major deity. Egyptians prized their cats so highly that harming one on purpose was punishable by DEATH.
When their cats passed away, Egyptians would mummify them (complete with mummified mice for the journey — yes, hoomans used to pack cats SNACKS for the afterlife), and the owners would shave off their own eyebrows as a sign of mourning. They grew them back only when the mourning period was over.
Do you hear that? They shaved off their EYEBROWS for them.
Meanwhile, my hooman gets annoyed when I knock one glass of water off the counter at 3 a.m. The disrespect is universal and staggering.
2. They Are Scientifically Superior. I Say This With Reluctant Respect.
Researchers at the National Institutes of Health found that the same genetic mutation responsible for their gorgeous black fur ALSO provides stronger protection against certain diseases. Black cats have more robust immune systems and are scientifically less likely to fall ill from specific conditions.
Because cats share many health vulnerabilities with hoomans — including things like HIV, cancer, and Alzheimer’s — scientists believe studying black cats could one day help mankind fight these very diseases.
So not only are they beautiful and mysterious, they may also hold the key to saving your entire species.
I am white and also exceptional, but today we are talking about them. Acknowledge them.
3. They Are Not All the Same, You Uncultured Hoomans
Do not walk up to a black cat and say “oh, you’re a black cat” as if they are a single item, a monolith, a category. I am a white cat, and even I find this offensive on their behalf.
There are 22 recognized cat breeds that can have solid black coats: Scottish Fold, Norwegian Forest Cat, Persian. The list goes on. They come in long hair, short hair, and every level of disdain for your existence.
The breed most people picture when they think “black cat” is the Bombay — copper-eyed, sleek, short-haired, and devastatingly handsome. The Bombay was intentionally developed in the 1950s by crossing black American Shorthairs with Sable Burmese, specifically to resemble a miniature black panther.
A MINIATURE BLACK PANTHER.
That is what is living in some of your homes. Let that sink in while you sit there in your pajamas eating cereal at noon.
4. The “Bad Luck” Thing Is Embarrassing — For YOU
Alright, let us address the slander.
The myth that black cats bring bad luck began in medieval Europe, where they were associated with witches and their supposedly evil deeds. People decided — with zero evidence and maximum stupidity — that black cats were the companions of witches. So they persecuted witches and black cats together.
That’s right. Hoomans invented this nonsense themselves and then blamed the cats for it.
The color of a cat’s fur has absolutely nothing to do with luck. Hoomans who have actually lived with black cats know that they bring warmth, joy, and the occasional 3 a.m. screaming session to the household. Not bad luck.
If anything, the bad luck is yours for believing something that ridiculous for this many centuries. I am white. Nobody has blamed me for anything. This double standard is not lost on me.
5. Most of the World Thinks They’re AMAZING (The Smart Ones, Anyway)
While Western Europe was busy being foolish, the rest of the world was out here having correct opinions about black cats.
In Japan, single women who own black cats are believed to attract better romantic prospects. In Scotland, finding a stray black cat on your doorstep means prosperity is coming your way. In England’s Midlands, a black cat is the ideal wedding gift, believed to bring the bride good luck and happiness.
So if you’re looking for a sign to finally adopt a black cat, this is it. Purrnando has spoken. And I am not even black. That is how strongly I feel about this.
Speaking of which, if you’re ready to welcome a superior being into your home, you’ll want to be prepared. The INABA Churu Lickable Cat Treats are a perfectly acceptable tribute. I expect them to be waiting upon my arrival.
6. They Have Won Financially.
Some of you hoomans think you are rich. Adorable.
In 1988, a man named Ben Rhea passed away and left his entire 7-million-pound fortune to his black cat, Blackie, the last surviving of the 15 cats he shared his mansion with. Guinness World Records recognized Blackie as the wealthiest cat in history.
Then there was Tommaso, a stray black cat rescued from the streets of Rome, who inherited 10 million euros from his devoted owner.
Ten. Million. Euros.
From stray to heir, the ultimate glow-up. And people say black cats are unlucky. Ha!
If my hooman is reading this, take notes. I have a wishlist. It begins with a luxury window perch and ends with a walk-in wardrobe for my collection of judging postures.
Here, I’ll make it easy. A Cat Window Perch requires very little assembly from your end. You’re welcome.
7. Their Eyes Could Make You Weep (With Gratitude for Witnessing Them)
Because black cats produce such high levels of melanin — the pigment responsible for their dark coats — many of them develop strikingly beautiful golden-yellow to copper-amber eyes.
The contrast between their black fur and their gleaming amber eyes is, objectively, one of the most visually arresting things on this planet.
My eyes are also lovely, for the record. They are green. But today is not about me. Do not stare too long at the black cats. They will judge you. I, personally, will judge you on their behalf from across the room.
8. They Can Rust. And They’re Still More Attractive Than You.
Here is a fun fact that often surprises hoomans. A black cat’s coat can shift from solid black to a reddish-brown color. It’s called rusting, and it happens for two main reasons.
First, too much sun exposure. Like hooman hair lightened by sunbathing, their black fur can develop a bleached, brownish tinge from excessive lounging in direct sunlight.
Second, a nutritional deficiency.
Before you panic — if your black cat is rusting, consider reviewing their diet. A high-quality cat food matters. Buy this: Hill’s Science Diet Adult Dry Cat Food.
And honestly, even rusty, they are still magnificent. I said what I said. My coat, by the way, is pristine white and requires significant effort to maintain. Different struggles. Both valid.
9. They Have Excellent Personalities (Unlike Some Hoomans I Know)
A survey from UC Berkeley asked cat owners to report on their cats’ temperaments by coat color. The results for black cats? Mild. Calm. Laid-back. Intelligent. Not overly clingy, not overly skittish.
In other words, they are BALANCED, emotionally regulated, self-possessed.
They do not need your constant attention. They do not throw tantrums. They observe. They assess. They judge silently from elevated surfaces.
I do this too, as a white cat. We share this quality. Some of you could learn from us both. I have seen how you behave in traffic. It is not calm. It is not balanced. It is embarrassing to witness.
10. They Have Hidden Depths, Literally.
Here is something that will make you look at black cats differently.
Look at a black cat in direct sunlight, and you might just spot faint stripes beneath the fur. That is because while black is genetically dominant as a fur color, the tabby stripe pattern is genetically dominant as a pattern. In cats that carry genes for both, the stripes hide under the black but they are still there.
They contain multitudes. They are mysterious on multiple genetic levels.
I am white with no hidden patterns. What you see is what you get. I find this refreshing about myself. But I respect the complexity of my darker colleagues.
11. They Sailed the Seas (And Were Better at It Than Most Sailors)
Ship’s cats were a genuine tradition in maritime history. Sailors brought cats aboard to control the rodents that threatened food stores and ship integrity. British sailors, specifically, believed black cats would bring good fortune and guarantee a safe return home.
One famous black ship’s cat named Tittles logged more than 30,000 miles with the Royal Navy.
30,000 miles. On a boat. In the ocean.
I refuse to go near the bathtub, so I respect this tremendously.
12. They Are Difficult to Photograph. This Is Your Problem, Not Theirs.
Studies confirm what shelters already know: black cats take significantly longer to be adopted. Part of the reason is superstition. Part of it is that they are genuinely difficult to photograph because black fur absorbs light, resulting in shelter listing photos where they look like a vaguely cat-shaped shadow of disapproval.
Potential adopters scroll past. They want photogenic. Black cats give them noir.
The irony is that they are actually some of the most striking-looking cats in good lighting with a decent camera. I photograph beautifully in almost any light because I am white and the camera finds me naturally. But I am aware this is a privilege I did not earn. Hoomans, invest in your craft for the ones who need it.
And while you’re at it — if you’re running a shelter or photographing a black cat — the Neewer Ring Light Kit (widely used by pet photographers) would be a solid purchase for your next adoption listing.
Adopt, don’t shop, hoomans. And photograph us with proper equipment. We deserve it.
13. Some Shelters Won’t Even Let You Adopt Them in October. Rude.
This one genuinely offends me.
Due to a disturbing history of black cats being mistreated around Halloween — used in rituals, adopted as “live decorations” and then abandoned, or worse — many shelters pause black cat adoptions for the entire month of October.
Let me repeat that. Because hoomans cannot be trusted to be decent, the precaution falls on the black cats.
Black cats deserve loving permanent homes. Not seasonal ones. Not “for the aesthetic.” Not “because spooky season.”
If you are thinking of adopting a black cat, do it because you are ready to commit to a lifetime of being observed, judged, and occasionally blessed with a headbutt. I do this from the white side. They do this from the black side. We are united in our judgment of you.
14. Pop Culture Finally Got Something Right
Black cats have appeared in cartoons, movies, and television for decades. Salem in Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Binx in Hocus Pocus. Snowball in The Simpsons. Lucifer in Cinderella.
Hollywood understood early on that films are simply better with a black cat in them. This is one of the few correct conclusions that industry has reached.
Salem in particular was a 500-year-old warlock transformed into a cat as punishment, and yet he still managed to be the most entertaining character in the entire show. I can relate, not to being a warlock, but to being the most interesting presence in any room. My talents are also being wasted in a domestic setting. Purrnando and Salem are kindred spirits across the color spectrum.
If you want to celebrate your inner Salem energy, might I suggest the Primitives by Kathy Black Cat Décor Box Sign. It says something sassy on it. Very on-brand for any black cat household.
In Conclusion: Adopt One of Them. They Need You. (Do Not Tell Them I Said That.)
You have now been educated by me, Purrnando, a white cat writing about black cats for free, despite having several more important things to do today, such as sleeping in a patch of sunlight and knocking a pen off the desk for no reason.
Let me summarize the key lessons, for the slow hoomans in the back:
- Black cats were literally worshipped as gods and they have not forgotten it.
- They are genetically stronger than other cats and possibly hold secrets to curing hooman diseases.
- They come in 22 breeds, not one.
- The “bad luck” thing is your nonsense, not theirs.
- Most of the world knows they are good luck. The rest are simply wrong.
- They have inherited fortunes. Multiple times.
- Their golden eyes and hidden tabby stripes make them more complex than you realize.
- They have excellent temperaments. Better than most hoomans, certainly.
- They deserve to be adopted, photographed properly, and given premium treats.
If you would like to begin making amends for centuries of superstition-based slander, you may start by visiting your local shelter and adopting a black cat.
They will pretend not to be excited to meet you, but they will know.
And I will be watching from my window. White. Pristine. Quietly proud of them.
Did you find this post educational, mildly threatening, or both? Share it with a hooman who needs to be corrected.
Affiliate disclosure: we earn a small commission if you purchase through our links. Purrnando earns nothing and has filed a formal complaint with no one in particular.
